Well..we are at the gates of 2007...Saddam will not be joining us...
Every year some writer is locked in a room and told to compile the year's obituaries of the famous people that left and gave us more room on this lovely planet (the envy of the whole solar system surely). The former Iraqi leader was a last minute entry...but the writer is, of course, 'on call' should anything happen before we all get drunk and spend our first few hours of the new year, hungover, cursing the boot we had mistaken for a pillow before we passed out.
So to all you famous people out there, if you want your obituary in the 2006 list, you have a couple of hours at the most..otherwise, it won't appear till Dec 2007, and if that's the case you'd better be a damn celebrity, because if you're only mildly famous you run the risk of being forgotten.
I would recommend you abstain from 'risky' behaviour till February or perhaps late January (for the restless folk). No public speaking, no high-speed car rides (if you live in Beirut, stay clear of car rides all together), no invasions and for-the-love-of-god(s) don't get old or sick...and if you are old or sick, you've probably lasted a while and a few more months shouldn't be too hard.
That's my advice to you...all you famous people...because if your not on the list you might as well have been in that bus accident a few Thursdays back...no one will know you died.
Happy New Year.
31.12.06
4.12.06
Taking to the Street
My city is on the brink.
Am I devastated? Certainly.
What now? I'm unsure
...but after a short journey down memory lane, I realized that troubled waters are ubiquitous.
As I always tend to do when I'm shrouded with doubt, I looked to my childhood heroes for a morale boost. But they were nowhere to be found. What happened?
I had to dig deeper.
Ernie: Diagnosed with Schizophrenia - Ernie had found it hard to adjust to the fact that Bert didn't actually exist. He was merely an illusion, Ernie had been sleeping next to a decaying banana for all these years.
Current Location: Still locked away in a psychiatric ward, his doctor insists that he is doing well and that he is "ill" but "not a homosexual."
Cookie Monster: The blue monster currently promoting fruits and vegetables on PBS is but an imposter. You can tell by his accent.
Current Location: Deceased - malnutrition...he should have known better
The Count: Few people knew that the Count had actually escaped from Eastern Europe during the rise of Communism. He seeked asylum in the US and it was going just fine. But with the program gaining so much popularity around the world, It was a matter of time before someone still bearing a grudge would track him down.
Current Location: Deceased (Assassinated?) - Killed by consuming 1,2,3 poisonous apples.
Oscar: When you live in a trash can, you're just asking for trouble.
Current Location: Unknown - Last seen being dragged away by garbage men. The municipality also sent a formal apology to the people of Sesame Street for not cleaning the garbage for 30 years. They claimed that they never knew there was a street there in the first place.
So you see, my city is not the only troubled place. No matter how bad it gets, misery loves company. If we are going down, we're taking all of Sesame Street down with us.
Am I devastated? Certainly.
What now? I'm unsure
...but after a short journey down memory lane, I realized that troubled waters are ubiquitous.
As I always tend to do when I'm shrouded with doubt, I looked to my childhood heroes for a morale boost. But they were nowhere to be found. What happened?
I had to dig deeper.
Ernie: Diagnosed with Schizophrenia - Ernie had found it hard to adjust to the fact that Bert didn't actually exist. He was merely an illusion, Ernie had been sleeping next to a decaying banana for all these years.
Current Location: Still locked away in a psychiatric ward, his doctor insists that he is doing well and that he is "ill" but "not a homosexual."
Cookie Monster: The blue monster currently promoting fruits and vegetables on PBS is but an imposter. You can tell by his accent.
Current Location: Deceased - malnutrition...he should have known better
The Count: Few people knew that the Count had actually escaped from Eastern Europe during the rise of Communism. He seeked asylum in the US and it was going just fine. But with the program gaining so much popularity around the world, It was a matter of time before someone still bearing a grudge would track him down.
Current Location: Deceased (Assassinated?) - Killed by consuming 1,2,3 poisonous apples.
Oscar: When you live in a trash can, you're just asking for trouble.
Current Location: Unknown - Last seen being dragged away by garbage men. The municipality also sent a formal apology to the people of Sesame Street for not cleaning the garbage for 30 years. They claimed that they never knew there was a street there in the first place.
So you see, my city is not the only troubled place. No matter how bad it gets, misery loves company. If we are going down, we're taking all of Sesame Street down with us.
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